Being Head Girl is everything I thought it would be! The power! The prestige! I've become quite fond of points-taking. There are things that aren't so good about it, but even having to attend to crying first years in the middle of the night and giving "the talk" to the young girls "coming of age" is worth it all. Why, even wearing the Ultimate Special Head Girl Uniform (which I've never seen used before, mind you) is worth it in the grand scheme of things. I shall use this to my advantage and revel in this position of esteem. It will help me to claw my way to...well, wait. I am at the top, aren't I?

And you all thought that making me dance on the head table in front of the entire school whilst dressed in a skirt and knickers was going to embarrass me. HA! That was the best part of it all. I deserve this position! I will be the best Head Girl ever! Certainly the fittest and most desirable! (This last bit is evidenced by how many of you were eyeing me with lust during The Dancing. No one could take their eyes off of me. You cannot deny it. None of you. Ha!)

Indeed!

Anyone up for a pre-birthday celebration this weekend? I, for one, am looking forward to coming of age. This will be one birthday I shall remember. I certainly hope someone is planning me a surprise party.

Today I was woken from my post-Advanced-Transfiguration-of-Small-Wooden-Objects-into-Other-Small-Wooden-Objects Of-Nearly-The-Same-Description lie down, by a large, extrememly angry Barn Owl holding a Howler in its similarly angry talons, battering around my very delicate and sleepy head.

The Howler was from my Father, who was, quite surprisingly, extremely angry. I wondered what on the Dark Lord's black earth he could possibly be angry at ME for. I mean, me! Of course, as it turns out, he wasn't.

He is upset with her.

It seems that she ran off to meet "that merda Hufflepuff!" when she was supposed to be Flooing home for a holiday with the Castellani family. (Father has such high hopes for her and the Castellani family's son, Sergio, which rather puts me off because what does he think will become of me? Also, I think he'd have a better chance marrying me off to the young Sergio, but that is another story entirely.)

What intrigues me the most about his tirade was the references to a recent jaunt she made with The Hufflepuff to some remote third-world country. He was exceedingly proud of her for her successful "taking over of" said country, the New Republic of Grindelow. Even if it was with The Hufflepuff. And the "poor, mad boy who fancies red-heads". He hoped she took her "new prestigious position" seriously, but she shouldn't neglect her studies nor her duty to her family. He demanded she return home immediately to explain.

He went on, of course, but I do have a question now. For YOU, Hufflepuff:

WHERE'S MY CITY-STATE????? I HAVE RIGHTS, YOU KNOW!
I DEMAND MY TITLE! I DEMAND A VERY VERY VERY GENEROUS PORTION OF LAND TO RULE WITH MY IRON FIST! I HELPED TAKE OVER THAT PLACE! I WAS SORT OF THERE! I DEMAND TO HEAR FROM YOU IMMEDIATELY!

GIVE IT TO ME!!!!GIVE ME MY LAND!!



Tzar Zabini has spoken.

I am feeling somewhat restless. As though I need something, but don't know what. Or that I've lost something or misplaced whatever it is.

Theodore, please find me at your earliest convienence. We've something to do, I'm sure.

For now, I must do something. I've some nice elf-made wine and tea. Anyone care to join me on an excursion? It is sure to be a rousing bit of fun. Theodore? Miss Weasley? Pansy? ...


ETA: Legere, Legere, Legere. I shall have to figure out a way to see you.

My hair is mussed, my dress is disheveled, and my lip gloss is smeared. I look thoroughly debauched!
I hope she had a good time, because the Hufflepuff went a bit mental when he noticed me sitting there instead. He may have fainted, and I am not one to take advantage of the unconscious. Especially a Hufflepuff.

I don't know what she sees in Hufflepuffs, really. Is she working through the entire year? Wasn't she dating that dead bloke a few months ago? For that matter, wasn't Pansy dating Flinch-Fetchy? I miss so much when I am gone. It seems I nearly missed a party as well.

Theodore Nott!!
I am looking for you.

I LOVE CHIPS!! MMMMMMMmmm! Especilly sour crem and onion! I just got  bg t the store nd I lmost Ate them All so fAr. Boy this is stressful! ThAnk god I hAve my chips!

I think I will eAt ice creAm now. ThAt Always mAkes me feel better.

Well, suddenly I feel much better! I have not felt this relaxed in I don't know how long. Never, perhaps. Now that I've found a new pasttime, I think I can handle letting go of my bat. No matter how special it once was to me, I think I need to move on. It will always hold a place in my heart.

I have taken up a new hobby. It is called 'wrestling'. It is a MUCH better stress reliever than beating things with my bat! I enjoy it very much. I 'wrestled' all night last night! I've great teachers! They are teaching me all they know!! I've another lesson tonight, also. I cannot wait!

Terry, do you still need a bat? Mine is somewhere near the West Tower, below the side with all of the windows. If you want it, you can go and retrieve it. Use it well.

I am no longer tense and frustrated! I feel fulfilled and pleased! This is GREAT!

I LOVE WRESTLING!!!

Time has calmed the shock of my experiences somewhat. Of course, good friends do much to ease any lingering anxieties. A couple of Butterbeers, a bit of Ogden's, and a chat or two works wonders. I am glad to be feeling like myself again.

Unfortunately, I was informed that I must complete that dratted survey for the "Polyjuice Experiment Gone Awry". I did not even partake of any tainted punch, yet I still have to complete the assignement. I suppose I should have it done in the next few days, then.

In the meantime, I shall just enjoy the company of one of my favorite things to come out of the Polyjuice Debacle That Was. Lilac, my kitten, has come back to me. I don't know where she's been all this time, but she looks well taken care of. They house elves must have kept her fed. She showed up here about a week or so ago and we've been getting along smashingly ever since. She hardly leaves my side and cries when I leave to go to class. It is quite nice to have her back! It is ever so soothing to pet the little fluffy lump! She is so extremely fluffy too! I've been having the house elves brush her to help with her shedding. It can get messy.

She's been sleeping with me, curled up by my side. But oh! She certainly has some sharp places! You wouldn't think that something so fluffy could be so painful when scratching her sharp, sharp claws...

Hmmm...sharp places. Something sounds familiar about that.
Something...fluffy. With sharp places...

I think there is something I am forgetting.

I know someone knows her.

Please tell me where I can find her and I will forever be in your debt. I have not managed to find her in all my days of searching Hogwarts. I will make it worth your while and reward you greatly.

Yes. Well, then.

So school. How you are so much the same as I remember you last!

I hope I can get the burn marks out of my coat. Not to mention the mud and spotches of blood.

I miss London already.

It just occurred to me that no one has inquired of my whereabouts recently.

Which is interesting.

Because if I don't have to show up, well that is just brilliant!

It is so wonderful to know I have such fabulous and caring friends.



Oh wait.

I DON'T.

Well. It seems my absence from the schoolgrounds has gone unnoticed. No one even wondered where I was? No one inquired as to why I was not in classes? I am even more sad than I was yesterday now.

Any of you forget something? Anything at all? LIKE THE FACT THAT YESTERDAY WAS MY BIRTHDAY????? MY 16th BIRTHDAY!!!!! THANKS FOR TELLING ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I LOVED ALL THE GOOD WISHES AND PRESENTS I GOT!!!

Wait. No. I did not get any!!!!!! Not one of you wished me happy birthday. It was not even mentioned on the birthday lists that are posted all over the school boards. I am hurt! HURT!

The only one who remembered, the only one who sent a birthday wish and a present was Legere!!! So if you are all continuing in your obvious frantic worry over my, I am with Legere. I planned to return this morning, but since I am NOT MISSED IN THE SLIGHTEST WAY I just may stay away for longer. I shall not tell my whereabouts. And I have no idea when I shall return. I shall just mope and allow Legere to cheer me up. At least HE cares! So fie! on you, I say!! FIE! on you all!!!

What bizarre times we live in!

Green girls with multi-coloured hair. Capped squid. Lots and lots of lovely breasts. Strange arses. Singing plants. Dancing Gryffindors. Broken hearts of wolves. Gaudy laptops. Stickered coffins. Bead towers. And what else? A strange sounding Professor, for another thing. What is this world coming to?

In other semi-related news, you professors really know how to keep us all busy. I have hardly had time for myself, Draco, or Nott since I returned. It one thing after another. Ah well, it seems I am needed somewhere right now. Aie, lucky me! Lucky me, indeed.

Good. I need this. A repreive. Maybe I will be more coherent next time. With any luck, I will be more incoherent. Yes...

Well, that was certainly nice of Theodore yesterday.

Classes are classes. La di da.

AND IF ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT THE TRAIN:

WATCH OUT!! I WILL HEX YOU INTO NEXT TERM!!!!


That is all.

...Draoc? Noooott?

I have wonderrrrred.waandeeered wawawy for a liittllee whhhile. do yooooooou stiiil sseeee the ttraaceressssssses? ? ???>/>?? meeeetoooo.
OOOOHHH!!!!!!1@!
I thoughht uuuuuonhhogofofof a good wwwruriodrdWORD taht is fuunny. I thoughgt of a funnny worrd. again.look atthat.
supercallafragaliisticeexpialladocious saysit.
it iss fun! faaster. faster. do it. isn't itafunfunn word?
oh!legereerehahahahaaa he's wiith mee draoco. i willfind youu. findfindfiiind you. hahahahafIIIND.foound.FOUNDFOunD.-I willfoundyou.

yes thiss morrrningis nicenicepreetytty outtside.oh.iamoutsiide. outsideouttside. ohg.ardennice.walk legere?yes.pleas.e.
draaaacooo!!comehere!comecomeecoomen.ow.now.fiiindmeeee!1!
bpunch!pun ch yaay!andb rowniies!MMm. brreakks=fasst,legereere??
yespleeeease.draacowe m ade the besst borrouownies. andppbunch. did youkownwe had somebucketsof punchin the gar.den???morepbunch. hurrah. andthhere is joremoremorre browwniews in thebushesstoo. did weshidewhethemhide them?

pleeenty.partypiccnic todaay???nooooott! bounce?comeherenooooott!!

Well, Nott's picnic was certainly a success. It was quite picnic-y and possibly the loudest, most insane picnic ever. Cheers, Nott, on your picnic! Can you top it with Pansy's party tonight? I think we can. I shall be bringing along many bottles of liquour courtesy of my Father. He has such fantastic taste and has been very generous of late. He is sending many other surprises along with me that you all will love.

Speaking of surprises: how did I get home from the picnic?  Does anyone have an idea? I would love it if someone could tell me. I spent most of yesterday nursing a hangover. And the rest was spent with Goyle rescuing Dr...um. The rest of the day and evening was spent flying with Goyle. His bracelets are lovely and very uplifting. W.W.V.D.? indeed!

Legere was a hit at the picnic. I do so hope Pansy brings him along tonight. I have been promised a turn walking him. Fabulous. What a night this will be! I am so pleased that Pansy took to Legere as well as she did. In fact, speaking of Pansy, I have not heard from her since the picnic. I wonder what she is doing? I wonder what Legere is doing? I wonder what she and Legere are doing?

I suppose I will begin getting ready to go to Nott's for the party. Goyle, Draco, and I will be going together. I need them to help me with the supplies.

-Slytherins: See you dears all tonight! We will have the absolute best party ever. No one can top a Slytherin-exclusive party. Because they all suck. Except for Boot.
-Everyone else: Suck an egg. Except for Boot. 

I am most intrigued by the events that happen around here. Curtains appear at Hogwarts and everyone proceeds to freak out. We were supposed to know the significance of these drapes? It seems that some of  us do. And isn't it odd that they all happened to be GRYFFINDORS? Ovviamente non! Well Hogwarts, once again you have proved your Gryffindor Bias!! And am I to understand that a Mass Murderer is behind the curtains and Hogwarts is harbouring a dangerous killer??? Not only that, but are actively trying to retrieve him??? I will never understand these people. Aie me!

Granger has shown interest in wearing a belt to school as a skirt and a Professor has posted indecent photos of herself to traumatise us all. Just where are we headed at this school? Granted, Granger has a decent enough lower body for such an article of clothing. (And for a Mudblood.)  Professor McGonagall, on the other hand, does not.

Draco darling, contact me about this picnic for the Slytherins. Is there anything you need me to do? Specifically, anything?
Dear Pansy, please owl me! I would so love to inquire of your new...relationship. I hope you are happy and such things. I would detest it so if you were not kept happy.
Millicent, sweet. How have you been? You seem a bit...out-of-sorts of late. I hope all is well with you, dear. Need any help?
Crabbe, good to see you in such great form. You seem to be keeping in shape lately.
Vincent, what can I do to help you in your newfound energy for your cause? I am in great need for some new faith boosters. Can you help me out here? Some encouragement?

And Terry Boot, your shrewd business style has caught the eye of my Father. He is most impressed with your savvy and your techniques. He may contact you sometime in the near future. (I am merely to pass on the information.) The Family business is going well at this time. Oh, and he also wanted to know which bottles Potter broke? My Father has offered to replace them for you to show how impressed he is. If you are interested, let me know. It can be arranged.

Aie, it is such a burden to awaken and be startled as to where you are. Dove sono? I could have sworn that the beauteous Chef's Daughter was here with me earlier. But she is no longer. Sigh I. Oh, figlia bella di Chef's! Dove siete?

I suppose it is a conquista I shall have to put off until another day.

Father's commercio is coming along nicely, as always. We should be getting new rifornimenti in all this week. I can always test out some of the new things and others more...proibito a, I can manage to get. And it is ever so much fun to do so!

And as always, I awaken to a filthy pigsty, porcile ripugnante del maiale! Really, you'd think Muggles had roomed here in my absence. I was, however, overjoyed to discover that I had missed the unveiling of the horrid Muggle plague. Thank the gods (Ringrazi i dii!) that I am a Pure-Blood. I do see, though, that some "Pure-Bloods" were struck with the illness. No doubt due to their Muggle-loving tendencies. Of course, some of them do have their, well, "attributi". The red hair. Lovers bei del muggle!! Bello!

My dear Draco has returned from Die. I am so very eager, desideroso, to see him again. I am sure to hear tales of such bellezza!! And conquista! Aie! (E sono sicuro io conquista di volontà inoltre.) We will surely have a gathering to celebrate his return. Slytherin style. We must! Draco il mio caro, il mio dolce, il mio schiavo del sesso, il mio fuoco, il mio amore! See you soon!

WHAT.

THE.

HELL.


So suddenly I am in my room. With a naked, curvy blond girl--the cook's daughter? or a neighbor?--on top of me. I am naked too.

And there are many MANY flaky, multicolored THINGS pressed into my back. They are not pleasant.

WHAT THE HELL HAS HE DONE NOW?!?!?!

Why are there so many piles and stacks of color-changing, scaly THINGS all over MY ROOM?!?!

And why is the naked girl screaming and fleeing my room hysterically?!?!?!

COME BACK!!!!!

Wait...why are my words showing up on this small buttoned box thingy?

What

I suppose I should write out an actual entry in this lovely journal that I now am in possession of. As I am certain everyone is dying to know, I also received my Hogwart's letter sometime yesterday. Or should I say, "letters"? Mine arrived on multiple small scaly sorts of skins. I would say I continued to receive them well past the time I went to bed. Literally hundreds of owls dropped these funny-shaped crusty things into my room. As I tried to figure out what they were, they would continually change their surface in both color and texture. I finally deduced they were some sort of lizard skin once I managed to catch the skin changing into its normal vivid green color (lovely! How I love green!). But it took me a few more hours to find the weird round googly eyes.

My letter(s) were written on hundreds upon hundreds of chameleon skins.

HABloodyhA!!! Hogwarts, HAaaAA!

Luckily Pansy and Millicent were able to send me a copy of their letter (thank you darlings!) so I wouldn't have to wait until just moments ago for my letter(s) to finish arriving. And, instead of waiting until today to figure out this simplistic muggle box, I was able to do so yesterday.

I spent part of yesterday sharpening my art. The gardener's son is quite delectible. Today I shall work on the chef's daughter. Beautiful! Just exquisite!